If you haven’t been around video games for a long length of time, you may only be familiar with the stereotype of a grown man in his parents’ basement, with computer monitors in front of him, screaming at images moving across his screen.

That, and many other unsavory stereotypes are the first things many of the public think of when it comes to video games – or rather, the people who play them.

Video games are often blamed for the bulk of social ills that society has observed over the past few decades – school shootings, addiction, mental illness, poor social skills…and the list is endless.

If you’re reading this, then you may disagree with this assessment. You may believe that video games have value and that they’re simply misunderstood by these naysayers. You may play video games everyday and see them as a valuable part of your life. Or you may have a loved one who plays and don’t really understand why – but you’d like to learn more.

I’ve been around games ever since I can even remember, and have early memories watching my dad play computer games when I was around three or four years old. I played on my home computer a lot as a child, playing both educational games as well as turn-based strategy games (a la Age of Empires II, Stronghold, Empire Earth…)

I got my first console – the Gamecube – when I was ten years old, and I can’t tell you how excited I was to play The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker for the very first time after having only played the demo at various stores when it was available.

I’ve seen the evolution of video games in the past two decades and find it fascinating.

I understand it can be overwhelming for people who have never picked up a game controller in their lives.

I know that for many parents, video games are the bane of their family, with their children spending many an hour playing the latest hit game – and they’re not quite sure how to make them stop and pursue another activity instead.

I was able to talk with Susan B. Arico, a fellow hope*writer who wanted to learn more about video games and if they could positively impact her own family, and if they had any positive qualities at all.

As a teacher, I hear my kids gossiping about the latest games (Fortnite and Roblox are the ones that I keep hearing about over and over again). It’s almost all I hear them talk about. What’s ironic is that I don’t play those types of games. I enjoy games that I can play by myself in the quiet of my room, with many of the games being more story-focused than gameplay-focused.

While I don’t think those games in themselves are wrong, I do become concerned when that’s all I ever hear out of my kids’ mouths, and nothing else.

Games are great ways to connect with other people such as friends from school, or in the neighborhood…or even around the world. Journey and massively-multiplayer online games (MMOs) are great examples of this, and have stood the test of time because of this unique feature.

I think it’s a possibility that today’s kids play too often on their devices and that this can create negative effects in their thought and learning processes. I see more and more children craving time on electronic devices instead of finding other means of passing the time that would arguably be more constructive (playing outside, reading books, spending one-on-one time with friends and family). Granted, this doesn’t fit every child in the 21st century, but it is something that more and more of society is becoming more aware of, and even a little bit concerned.

For a parent or supporting adult, it can be worrying. But it doesn’t mean you can’t make impact on children through their technology.

There’s so much about the history of video games that deserves its own mention, that I may create a series just examining the different eras of the video game industry; the history itself is just so fascinating. So much of it has ties to the military and progression of science, that it’s interesting to see its changes throughout each decade to the present day.

For now, if you have a loved one who is a gamer and you’re not, how can you enter into this strange, unfamiliar world? And what if you’re unsure you even want to?

---

Choosing the right games for your family

It’s important to remember that video games are a medium – much like films, books, and music are. Just like with all of those, there are is a lot of good to go along with the junk, so it’s very important to be observant of what kind of games your family chooses to play, why, and how they may know about them.

Playing a game like Super Mario 64, where there is very little risk involved and no bloodshed, will be remarkably different than, say, a game like The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, a game with copious amounts of bloodshed, nudity, and swearing.

Should that mean games like The Witcher 3 should never be played and should be avoided at all cost? That depends on you and your family. I think it also greatly depends on the emotional and spiritual maturity of the person playing the game.

I will say that though I disagreed with a lot of what The Witcher 3 presented in its story, I still enjoyed the story for what it was, as well as the colorful characters, not to mention the gorgeous scenery that you can ride through in weather of all kinds.

The more of The Witcher 3 I played, the more I realized I was gazing into a world lost and without God. All the people are living purely for themselves (very few characters in the game have entirely selfless motives), so it actually taught me something that I could use when I turned off the console, while still enjoying the game for what it was.

That doesn’t mean The Witcher 3 is necessarily right for your family.

Take a look at the gameplay and see if it’s something you’d be willing to play/watch, and talk about. If you feel like the content is too much and not appropriate for your family, there is no shame in putting it to the side, no matter how popular it is. There are myriads of games out there; the odds of finding at least one you will enjoy is very high.

---

Understand the value of having time limits

I think the value of time limits is something that’s not talked about often enough. With technology being as blown up and overused as it is, it’s important to understand how important it is to set the phone (and the console) aside from time to time.

Games are fun – they can be so fun that they can end up be addicting.

Speaking for myself, I can’t play more than two hours at a time before I begin developing a headache, and I know then that I need to wind things down and turn the game off, and find some other activity to do.

If you’re a parent of young children, then I would urge you to really monitor how much time they spend in front of the screen. Thirty minutes to an hour would be my recommendation, especially if they have homework that they have yet to complete. Finding other activities for them to do would help them transition from the television or phone, and would help make the switch easier.

---

Be present with your family while playing

Lastly, I think the single most important thing would be to be present with your loved ones as they game. Learn to see why they enjoy what they enjoy – and then risk it a little. Ask them questions about what they’re playing, like who are they playing as? What are they trying to do? What is the story? How do they make that next jump right there? You may be surprised as they guide you on their adventure, and you create an opportunity to bond and create relationships with them.

This video from web series Extra Credits explains in detail why this could be a beneficial action to take with your family. Take a look!

Creating a bond using video games could help foster a relationship that you never would have thought possible. If you’re feeling really brave, ask your loved one/child what game they think you should start off with. I’ll share a few recommendations in another post that I think people new to gaming should start off with, but this is a great way to get an insight of their world and help build trust between you and them.

If you’re new to video games, don’t be afraid of them! They hold many wonderful stories that are waiting for you to discover them! When choosing a game, use wisdom and discernment – God wants what enters our lives to help build our relationship with Him, not tear us away. If you feel something isn’t right about the game you’re playing, it may be a good idea to take a step back and analyze as to why, and really think about if it’s worth to continue or not.

---

Thanks for reading this post! What are some games you would share with friends or family members who are not familiar with video games? I would love to know!

Many thanks to Susan B. Arico for taking the time to talk with me and learning more about the video game world! You can find more of her writings and reflections here.