“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.”

Psalms 12:25 (NLT)

In my last post, I argued that experiencing grief doesn’t have to be as detrimental as society has led us to believe for decades now. Instead of internalizing grief and keeping it to ourselves, we should be able to express it in healthy ways, such as opening up to others about our feelings, or using art as a conduit and sharing our message with others. That was what the creators of the video game That Dragon, Cancer did when their son was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and then passed away. The reception for the game was astronomical, with critics praising the idea that someone could create a story that players could explore and experience those moments and emotions for themselves. 

In 2015, Disney/Pixar released Inside Out, which was also lauded by critics as ambitiously illustrating the same kind of concept: That sadness isn’t a toxic emotion, and that it’s perfectly okay to be able to express sadness to others, as that helps build connections and empathy with them.

I remember walking out of the theater when Inside Out was first released, and was still reeling from crying and just being in awe at the message Pixar was trying to portray. There are two moments specifically that I remember rocked me hard: One was during the climax of the film, when the character of Joy is trapped in the Memory Dump and is at her lowest point in the film, and the second is at the end of the film, when Riley finally opens up to her parents about how she really feels about their move for the first time, thanks to the help of Sadness.

Leading up to those two pivotal moments was cleverly woven from the very beginning of the story by Pixar. You would think that Joy and Sadness are polar opposites in almost every aspect – certainly Joy herself seems to think so. When she encourages Sadness to think positive and tries to get her to come up with scenarios that makes her happy, she is dismayed that the things that Sadness enjoys are not typically what would make anyone joyful. She tells Joy that she enjoys the rain, especially when it runs down their back and fills up their boots, leaving them to feel cold and wet all over. Joy’s idea of fun in the rain is splashing in puddles, choosing fun umbrella designs, and watching lightning storms.

Joy and Sadness are as different as day and night, and despite her best attempts, Joy has a hard time relating to Sadness or understanding what her purpose is. For Joy, being anything other than happy automatically equals bad in her mind, and she would rather keep Riley happy all the time, if she can help it.

When circumstances force Joy and Sadness to be dragged from headquarters (where they take turns controlling Riley’s state of mind as needed), they undertake a journey to try to get back there before too much damage can be done due to their absence. Joy is aghast that without her, Riley will be unable to be happy. Sadness is undergoing her own journey of self-discovery as she tries to figure out what good is she, or if she can do any good at all. After all, no one ever wants to be sad, right?

There comes a moment, though, when through a brief interaction between Sadness and Bing Bong (Riley’s imaginary friend), Sadness is able to comfort him in a way that Joy can’t. Bing Bong’s magic rocket ship is sent over the edge to the Memory Dump, where old memories are lost and forgotten, never to be recovered. Heartbroken, Bing Bong stops in his tracks and collapses, unable to cope with the idea that Riley might not need him anymore.

Joy attempts to cheer Bing Bong up and try to redirect him back on their quest. Sadness, however, takes a quieter and gentler approach, helping Bing Bong recall some of his fondest memories with Riley and their adventures together, and comforts him when he starts sobbing into her arms. Moments later, he is able to pick himself up and is able to press on again. 

Joy is dumbfounded that Sadness was able to help Bing Bong when she couldn’t. Sadness simply explains that she saw he was upset and she simply listened to him, instead of trying to force him to feel better.

Joy comes to understand Sadness’ importance in Riley’s life when she finds herself trapped in the Memory Dump later in the film. She is at her lowest point, and begins to break down as she slowly realizes that, for the first time, she is unable to help Riley. She believes that without her, Riley will never be able to feel joy again.

She tearfully overlooks Riley’s fading memories from when she was younger and always cheerful, without a care in the world. She breaks down and starts crying when she admits that all she really wanted was for Riley to be happy.

After studying one of the memories that she and Sadness discovered earlier in Bing Bong’s bag, however, she discovers something strange. Something she had never noticed before. She restarts the memory from the beginning when Riley is celebrating with her team, but as she continues to rewind the memory, it changes from bright yellow (symbolizing Joy) to blue (symbolizing Sadness). 

Riley had lost an important hockey game when she missed the winning shot, and felt very disappointed in herself; in fact, she had thought about quitting hockey altogether. Her parents noticed her discouragement and gathered around her to comfort her. The memory changes from blue to yellow as it shows Riley talking to her parents, and then being cheered up and celebrated by her teammates. 

It slowly dawns on Joy that Sadness indeed had a purpose – whenever Riley was feeling sad, Sadness could send a signal to others to come and comfort her, leading to moments of relief and catharsis. Joy realizes that she had ended up causing more harm than good in the long run by keeping Riley happy throughout the course of her life, when in fact she should be able to express her sadness in order to move on and grow from new, unexpected hurdles of life.

With the absence of Joy and Sadness, the other emotions are unable to balance themselves. After experiencing several mishaps in their efforts to hold down the fort, they finally plant the idea in Riley’s mind to run away from San Francisco in order to return to her old home in Minnesota, where she was happiest. Overwhelmed by feelings of Fear, Disgust, and Anger over her circumstances, the emotion console in Riley’s mind begins to shut down, creating apathy in her.

When Joy and Sadness are able to return to headquarters by the end of the film, Joy allows Sadness to take charge of the emotion console, and she is able to fix it. Sadness is able to fulfill her role and help Riley disclose her real thoughts to her parents for the first time since their move, instead of continuing to bottle her feelings up and running away from her problems.

I remembered crying at this point of the film, because I could recall moments in my own life where I was in Riley’s position, where I also bottled my emotions up to point where it was detrimental. I remembered those times when I finally told someone how I was really doing, and was able to cry in their presence without any fear of judgement or ridicule. The moment when Riley and her parents are able to embrace and come to terms with their move and all the changes it brought, and Riley lets out a small sigh of relief…it’s, in my opinion, the most beautiful moment in the entire film. It’s powerful because everyone has experienced a moment just like that, and know exactly how Riley is feeling.

By the end of the film, Riley has grown emotionally, and her relationships with her family and friends are more complex, but so much richer. Her emotions are balanced out and she has truly become a happy individual.

Why is Sadness so important for Riley’s benefit? Isn’t it better to try to be happy all of the time and ignore any aspect of pain in our lives? You would think so, but the fact that mental and emotional illnesses continue to rise as people look for artificial ways to make themselves happy (such as through substance abuse or extreme behavior) I think shows that society needs to rethink that idea. 

Now, that isn’t to say not all of these cases can be helped, especially when biological factors come into play. That being said, I think examining the idea that it’s okay to be upset about things, that it’s okay to be sad about situations in life, and that it’s okay to express grief can prove to be helpful. If stories like That Dragon, Cancer and Inside Out are speaking to all kinds of people on an emotional level, who’s to say that we shouldn’t turn to storytelling, art, music, or simply just open ourselves up to those we trust, in order to move and grow from these arduous experiences?

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